Knucklehead

How do you spell Knucklehead?

When you spell it in this house you have to make sure you use the capitol letter K. Kind of gives the word a little more respect. Maybe respect isn't quite the word I would use but it does put more emphasis on the meaning of the word.

There are many different meanings for the word. Here are just some of them:

Idiot
A stupid person
Blockhead
Harley motor cycle
Informal fool

Today we have to add another meaning to the word:

Grandpa Bob

Yup, you heard me. From today forward if you buy a new dictionary, look up the word Knucklehead and you will see Grandpa Bob's picture listed in there.

Please don't get us wrong... We love Grandpa very, very much butt, he is undoubtably a Knucklehead through and through.

Let me tell you just how he earned this prestigious title.

It all started on Tuesday. It had taken Mommy quite a while (like 87 days) to finally get "the stars aligned" so that she could go over to Aunt Pats house for lunch with me (Lily). Aunt Pat is a great cook, has a beautiul garden, a fenced in yard, my doggie cousin Abby, and my soul sister Freeda was there too. We would have taken Muffin with us but because Daddy was home (he's retired) he was going to hang out with Muffin. Becides, Muffin is a fradie-cat and it's easier to just leave her home. Mommy doesn't like to leave us alone with Grandpa if she can help it. It's just not the smart thing to do these days.

So Mommy and I were having just the bestest time at Aunt Pats house. The three of us doggies (me, Freeda and Abby) were having a blast. We got treats, chased chippies all around the yard, got to dig in the garden and had no worries. Mommy and Aunt Pat had a pawsome lunch and some good ol'e girl talk.

Because of Grandpa Bob, Mommy doesn't get to go out too much. Remember, Grandpa is going on 88 years old and is getting forgetful. So when she does get to go out, she really enjoys herself.

So there we all were, having a stupendous time when Mommy's phone rings. It's Daddy on the phone. Daddy said you need to come home and you need to come home NOW! You could see the look of panic on her face. WTF! Daddy said that Grandpa took Muffin for a walk (which he is NOT allowed to do). Muffin is NOT a walker and HATES it! She pulls and pulls until her paws turn raw and bleeds. Is Muffin badly injured she asks? Daddy said she'll be OK but you really need to get home NOW. Mommy is now really freaking out and we bolt outta there like Superman. It's a 20 minute ride home and in rush hour traffic it takes even longer. Mommy is cussing the entire way home. Something happened and she doesn't know what.

We pull into the driveway and Daddy is in the garage waiting for us. Mommy can see Grandpa's Rollator so she knows they made it home OK. Phew!

This is what Grandpa's Rollator looks like. His usually has cob webs on it because he hardly ever uses it.

Daddy has a really upset look on his face. He gets me outta my car seat and puts me in the house. He then starts ranting about Grandpa Bob. This is how the conversation went... You better go in and have a talk with your Dad he said. Why, what did he do? Just go in and see him and do it NOW! Where is Muffin? She's hiding. Why is she hiding? Is Dad OK? Kim, just go find your father...

My heart is jumping outta my skin at that moment. I walk in the house and go into Dad's room. He's not there. I call out his name. I'm in the bathroom he said. I see the door is open so I walk in there. I had my new phone in my hand still and took a picture of what I saw when I walked in.

Hey, what are you doing home so early he says! Like it's another typical day in life.....

So Mommy says Dad, what the hell did you do? (And Mommy's voice wasn't too nice when she said it.) Well it's a funny thing he says. When you stop yelling at me I'll tell you what happened.

Mommy immediately ran to find Muffin. Daddy finally got her to come outta hiding and was now sitting with Daddy on the couch. She is shaking like a leaf. Mommy's stomach is in knots at the moment. What the heck happened she asked Daddy. Daddy said go talk to your father. Muffin will be OK but you'll have to take care of her paws as some are bleeding. As Mommy turns to walk away with anger and tears in her eyes, Daddy said, and be sure he tells you that some people up the street had to start walking them both home!

Are you all seeing where this is going? If you think you've figured it all out, think again! Wait until you hear the rest of the story!!

So Mommy walks back into the bathroom and asks Grandpa just what the heck happened. (Again, it's the angry voice she is using and it ain't pretty.)

Well he said.... Rolf (Daddy) was outside and Muffin was in the house and I decided to take her for a walk. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to get some exercise so I decided to take her around the block. She needs some exercise too you know. So I grabbed the leash, hooked Muffin up, got my Rollator and off we went. By the time we got around the block I was getting a bit tired and Muffin was pulling like a SOB. So I decided to turn my Rollator around and sit on it. Since Muffin was pulling (Mommy said it's actually clawing) so hard, I decided that she could pull me the rest of the way home while I sat down on my Rollator.

So you know, Grandpa had started to try this little bird brain idea before on a walk with Mommy and she explained to him just how dangerous it is. The Rollator is not a roller coaster ride Dad. It's meant for walking and sitting. NOT for riding it down hills! She even showed him the instructions printed right on the dang thing that says "accidents will happen if you do this ya jerk!"

Anyways, Grandpa thought it would be fun to turn little Doxie Muffin into a sled dog.  And to boot, they were going down a hill.

So Grandpa then says, we were really cruising down the hill. Muffin was dragging me along just fine... until... the damn Rollator tipped over. I skidded along the roadway. But Kim, you would have been very proud of me. Why is that Dad? Because I never let go of Muffin's leash! (Geez, just another typical day right?)

So... he said next. This really nice lady comes running over to see if I'm OK. She said she's a nurse and wanted to bring us into her home to bandage me up. I told her I was just fine and that I could get home and do it myself.

So in the meantime, Daddy comes back into the house and realizes that Grandpa and Muffin are no where to be found. He panics! He flies into the garage and the garage door is open. He's thinking, oh God, what is Grandpa doing now? He notices that the Rollator is missing from its usual spot. He runs back into the house and Muffins leash is gone. He panics again. This is not good he thinks to himself. He puts on his shoes and starts walking the neighborhood. And then he sees them....

Here comes Grandpa and his Rollator, Muffin, the kind nurse lady and her husband walking down the hill back towards our house. Daddy said he ran really quick to get Muffin. As he gets closer, he notices the blood all over Grandpa. He grabs Muffin and holds her tight to his big chest. Muffin is shaking and has the look of panic all over her. Her paws are bleeding. He thanks the nurse lady and her husband very much for helping out. She said she watched the whole thing happen and couldn't believe he would even try doing something like that with such a little dog. Nurse lady said she had to run into her house to get her husband to get Grandpa off the ground.  She said it all happened so fast. Unfortunately, Daddy didn't get their names as he just wanted to get them home and Grandpa doesn't remember which house they live at. Mommy thinks that Grandma sent Angel's down from Heaven to help them.

Mommy offers to help clean up Grandpa and his boo-boo's butt he's too stubborn. He knows how pissed off upset Mommy is.  Grandpa is laughing about it which upsets Mommy even more. Mommy wants to take him to the after hours Clinic to get checked out. Grandpa won't go. Mommy wants to wash out the dirt, Grandpa said he's not ripping off the bandages he just put on and to leave him alone. Grandpa said it was a good ride while it lasted. Mommy said you know that Muffin's paws are bleeding. Grandpa laughs and says she was pulling me really fast. Mommy started dripping more tears and had to walk out of the room.

Mommy went and held on to Muffin like there was no tomorrow. Daddy had washed off her bleeding paws. Mommy feels so horrible for her. She is a wreck.

Mommy calls her brother who is out of town on business. He talks to Grandpa. Then he calls Mommy back and says Dad said you're not being very nice to him. It was a stupid mistake on his part, give him a break! Mommy is even more ticked off now. He is an absentee in our lives. He lives right up the road from us and chooses not to get involved with the daily, continual "lack of brains" problems with Grandpa. Mommy thinks he should know these things, it is obvious he doesn't!

Mommy finally convinces Grandpa to see his Doctor the next day. She figured it would be best since Grandpa is still be stubborn about having the wounds cleaned out properly.

 Here is Dr. Dave cleaning up Grandpa. Dr. Dave is also a furend of Grandpa's and has taken care of him for years. We were just there last week for his annual exam. Mommy talked to Dr. Dave just last week about the memory problems with Grandpa and lack of judgement issues he is having. Like giving out his credit card number on the internuts. Dr. Dave got Grandpa into a 'memory' specialist at the end of October to see what is going on in Grandpa's brain. I personally can tell you, I think Grandpa's brain is pretty empty these days after trying this latest stunt!

Grandpa has no broken bones from his little escapade. Amongst the MANY cuts and bruises, his nose is also 3 times larger than normal, he has a chipped tooth, a big, fat bloody lip, and a thumb the size of Mt. Rushmore. Thank goodness Mommy doesn't want me to show you the actual pictures of the wounds because they are really gross and messy and she doesn't want anyone barfing.

My poor little sister Muffin has 3 wounded paws from the panic clawing on the roadway. Mommy and Daddy have been treating those. She is getting all this extra attention which she rightfully deserves. She is lucky she doesn't have a broken back or even worse....

Mommy is still very upset and tries to nicely explain to Grandpa why this never should have happened. But he just laughs...

Yup! Just another typical day in our lives.....

Hugs,
Lily Belle