It's so very hard to believe that today our sweet little Lily Belle would have turned 15. This is her 2nd birthday in Heaven and jeez, it still hurts our hearts tremendously that she is gone. I find it's even worse since Muffin has joined her at the Bridge.
I'd like to think that my Mom, Dad and Muffin are having one hell of a party for her up there.
It will be another tough day for Rolf and I to get through.
May you always feel our love Lily Belle. Happy heavenly birthday sweet girl.
Today we brought our sweet little Muffin home. While it was a homecoming filled with MANY tears, Rolf and I take comfort in having her back with us.
Her brown Bear that we bought for her when we heard that my Mom and Dad were adopting her will forever remain next to her urn. She wouldn't go ANYWHERE without her much loved Bear.
We tried to have Bear and her favorite blanket cremated with her, but they no longer will do that. (Dad and I made Muffin the blanket from one of my Mom's skirts after Mom died.)
For those who are newer followers, Muffin was adopted by my Mom and Dad (aka Grandma and G-Pa Bob) back in January 2006.
January - 2006
This is the very 1st picture of Muffin at 4 weeks old. That is my Mom holding her.
It was love at first sight! (Mom was 83 years old)
My Mom had 3 awesome years with Muffin before she passed in 2008.
Perhaps my favorite picture of Mom and baby Muffin. Sitting in the rocking chair, being rocked to sleep. This is why Muffin was a sleeper! When she wasn't in her bed on Mom's lap, she was laying next to my Mom in her chair being rocked. Looking over all my pictures of Muffin, 80% of them are of her sleeping.
April - 2006
The first time I met Muffin. I didn't want to let her go.
April - 2006
Lily & Muffin meeting for the 1st time
July - 2008
Muffin & Dad
Rolf and I officially adopted Muffin in March 2008. It was a month before Mom died. Mom asked us to adopt Muffin and also Dad. I promised Mom we would take excellent care of them both.
March - 2018
Muffin was a very lucky girl to be so loved by 2 set's of parents! (And Mom and Dad loved Lily Belle equally as much. If it wasn't for Lily Belle, there would have been no Muffin in our family.)
May you and Lily Belle be singing up there with the Angel's.
September 15, 2018
Rolf loving on Muffin the morning she died. After I snapped this picture he started singing Brown Eyed Girl to her. I was able to video tape a part of it. While we didn't know she would die a few hours later, Rolf cried his way through the song as he sang. I promised him I would not post it. Just a tender and treasured moment in time.....
July 8, 2018
I believe in my heart, that some day we will all be together again. Until then I know Muffin is in great hands with Mom, Dad and Lily Belle. As hard as it is for me to say, I just know they were all thrilled to see her again.
Auf wiedersehen my beautiful Muffin. We will love you forever!
Our sweet little Muffin lost her battle with congestive heart failure at noon today. She died very peacefully while curled up on the couch napping.
We have lost the 2nd piece to our hearts now. But I rejoice in the fact that she has joined her sister Lily Belle and my Mom and Dad in heaven. (Remember, she was my parents dog 1st.) I know that they have a lot of catching up to do. Muffin has her list of things to tell them from us here.
We are beyond heartbroken right now. Our house is so very quiet.
Muffin put up a good fight against this horrible disease. We were so very proud of her.
She was a very happy girl right up till the end. I took this picture this morning, 4 hours before she passed.
We had to rush Muffin to the ER Vet last night at dinner time. (Thankfully our Vet IS the ER Vet.)
She is struggling to breathe. This damn congestive heart failure is taking a toll on her little body! Her respirations are running 80-100 per minute. Not good! She's in an oxygen tent and on a high dose of Lasix. They will have to start lowering the Lasix dose soon so it doesn't cause kidney failure.
Xrays last night showed a lot of fluid around the heart. They are supposed to repeat the xray at 2pm and we should have the results shortly. Heart has also enlarged since May. It is greatly pressing on her trachea and it is now quite narrow.
We went to visit her today and to also talk to the Vet. We brought her her blanket and her Bear. She was happy to have her Bear and immediately laid her head on him like she always does. But her eyes are so sad.
She's always been a nervous dog and this is not helping her situation. We were only allowed to pet her through the little door. We couldn't take her out and hold her.
If the xrays today reveal the fluid around the heart has gone down, then we know that her heart is getting worse. They could do an echo on her but it won't change the outcome unfortunately!!
Let's have an honest conversation. No fluff, no bull, no beating around the bush today.
I'll admit it! It's been a very tough 6 months since Lily Belle left on her journey to the Rainbow Bridge. I'm crying again now just typing those words.... The Rainbow Bridge...… Yes, today is 6 months.
Just how the heck do you mend broken hearts? Ours are still so shattered.
She came into our lives for a reason. She helped me heal both physically and emotionally after 10 surgeries (2 were lifesaving.) God gently laid her in my arms that day back in 2004. And every day for those almost 14 years she was a blessing.
She's forever embedded in our hearts. We remember all the love between us, all the wonderful times we shared, the softness of her fur, the way she loved having her belly rubbed, the way she always had to be snuggled up against our face for kisses and every wonderful thing about her but we find it just breaks our hearts more knowing she is gone. She had the sweetest soul.
Life is a long path that we must walk down. This path has been our hardest walk yet.
We are keeping really busy (so don't think we're just sitting home 27/7 crying in our soup. We're not!) I went back to work part time helping (yet again) another elderly neighbor. We're still dealing with the insurance company about the hurricane damage to our house and getting a ton of estimates for them. Rolf is always helping the elderly here also. We try to have one of us at home with Muffin all the time because of her congestive heart failure. We are too afraid to leave her home alone. We are smothering her in love. But every time she coughs we hold our breath. We have a hard time knowing what lies ahead. How much more can the heart handle.
Have you ever said, I'll never get another dog because the pain is too much to handle? Come on, Rolf and I can't be the only ones that have these thoughts. Don't get me wrong, we have a ton of love to give another little one (down the road) but right now Rolf said not a chance, not going thru this pain again. And you know what? I totally get it!! Broken hearts are tough...
Please keep our sweet Lily Belle in your thoughts today. She was such a special little girl.
We just miss everything about her. Please someone tell me, it does get easier, doesn't it?
14 years ago today, we brought our sweet little Lily Belle home. It was on Good Friday. They should have called it BEST Friday because it was truly one of the BEST days of our lives.
She was a beautiful, sweet, loving and all around good girl for 13+ years. She survived IVDD, Cancer and horrible Florida allergies. We never knew that she had Congestive Heart Failure. Unfortunately that is what took her from us on December 1st.
Every day, beautiful memories of her cross our hearts. At least once a day a tear or two will fall in remembering our little girl. Truly, this has brought us to our knees. Sucker punched us right in the gut. Losing her has been our hardest loss. Our house is so empty without her here with us. Little Muffin still is trying to adjust.
It doesn't seem like it was 10 years ago today that we spent your last birthday together. I knew it was going to be our last here on this Earth and it killed me. I, to this day have a tough time getting through your birthday.
It's been a long, tough 10 years Mom. I miss you more than anyone probably knows. You were such a wonderful Mom and I miss you tremendously.
Life has gone on and through it all you remain close in my heart. I often hear your voice guiding me, always in the right direction. I like to think that you hear me at night when I talk to you. Just like the old days......
Your sweet baby girl Muffin is sick Mom and we're doing everything and anything possible to help her. This heart failure is a bitch, but we're trying. I told her last night that it was OK if she needed to leave to go see you again. I'm praying she chooses to stay a while longer here with us. I'm selfish Mom and don't want to lose her. I'm holding on to hope. Losing Lily in December has really torn our hearts in two. It has crushed our world and it's something we don't want to experience again right now with Muffin. Even though I know you and Dad are loving Lily up I still need Muffin here with us. Right now the 3 of us are helping each other trying to heal.
I wish you a happy, heavenly birthday Mom. I pray that heaven is the place I believe it to be. Beautiful, sun shining, birds singing, flowers blooming, we're all skinny, and a place where all our loved ones are truly waiting for the rest of us to join you. Because when my time comes if I find its not like that, I'm gonna be pissed!
With broken hearts and many tears we wish you a happy, heavenly birthday.
Taken last year - January 31, 2017
You lived to be 13 years, 10 months and 1 day old
The BEST day ever! The day you and I met and fell in love. March 19, 2004. You were 1 month & 19 days old.
Sadly, the last picture I took of you. November 23, 2017. You were 13 years, 9 months & 23 days old.
We know that Grandma and G-Pa Bob are throwing you a glorious birthday party today. Your best furend Freeda will be there to celebrate with you, also your boyfurend Uncle Buddy and many other furends of yours who are at The Bridge.
Best Friend Freeda
Our sweet girl on her 1st Birthday (2005)
I still have her birthday hat (above) and Lily has worn it every birthday for 13 years.
We wish you were still here with us Lily Belle to celebrate. Lord how our hearts hurt.
Sorry to say, we really are not in the mood for Christmas. It's been a very tough few months, especially losing our sweet Lily Belle only 3 weeks ago. I know it takes time to heal from such a great loss, but it feels like the pain will never end. We are sad. We are angry. We are so heartbroken! Christmas was her favorite holiday. Oh how she loved to unwrap all the presents and open all the boxes.
Just how do we get through all of it this time. She brought such light, love and laughter into our lives. We try to talk about all the good times of loving Lily, but it brings so many tears. I saw this beautiful saying this morning.....
Every time the grief steals my breath,
I remind myself the love was worth the pain.
Oh, was it worth it!
It just made me cry more.
Rolf has been in and out of the emergency room the past 3 days. He has a massive nose bleed that is not being controlled. Yesterday they packed his nose with new clotting medicine and an inflatable device. Today we have to go back and have the packing removed. It's not working! He's still bleeding on and off. Massive bleeding. They said we have to call the specialist on Tuesday and get him in to be cauterized. Why can't they do that in the hospital! Nope, they won't! Health care today sucks.
Muffin still coughs from her heart failure. I've been mixing her 3 pills into her food and so far as long as the food is stinky, she'll eat it. We are praying hard for her as we can't bear another loss in our lives.
Rolf, Muffin and I thank you all for the love and support. We've received more sympathy cards (and loving memorial gifts and flowers) than Christmas cards this year. And you know what....That's OK. Everyone loved Lily Belle. She was such a sweet soul.
We never did finish sending out all our Christmas cards this year. They still sit here on my desk.
While we are just not in the spirit, we truly do wish all our Blogging family a very merry and blessed holiday.
Lily is currently in the ICU in an oxygen tent and really needs your prayers.
You see, Muffin was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with heart failure. She has been coughing on and off and had her checked out. She is on 3 different types of medicine for it and is doing well. While at her follow up appointment this morning, we were sitting in the waiting room and Lily went into respiratory distress. They took her and immediately put her in the oxygen tent. The x-rays (who they e-mailed to their specialist) revealed Lily is also in heart failure with lot's of fluid around her heart. Also saw her liver is twice the size it should be. They are starting Lily on heart med's also immediately. Lily never exhibited any warning signs like Muffin did with her coughing. Lily will also need an Echocardiogram within the next week or two. They think there may also be a problem with her pulmonary vein. Needless to say we are freaking out. Our poor girl couldn't breathe. Thank the good Lord we were at the vet's when this happened.
Lily will remain in the oxygen tent for as long as needed. We are praying the med's start helping her quickly. Our hearts are hurting so bad right now. The two of them as you know, are our much loved kids. We want many more years with these two.
And to add to all this stress.....
I was hospitalized in October with an acute diverticulitis attack. Never had this happen before. They did a repeat C-Scan a few weeks ago and discovered masses on my kidney and on my adrenal glands. I will be having an MRI next Thursday. The hospital has also billed me $40,000 for my 4 day stay. Wonderful health care system we have!
And, we've not even attempted to repair any of the damages from the hurricane yet.
It was sure a dark and scary night when Hurricane Irma rolled right through our town. We were all hiding in our hurricane shelter (aka the walk in master closet.)
Mommy had everything set up in there perfectly (well, except for having to be in our crate for safety reasons which I, Lily Belle, did NOT like one bit!)
There was no way Mommy was taking out all of her clothes. She said if the roof came down all her clothes would help protect us.
We listened to the emergency weather radio to track where the storm was. It was a crank up radio which worked well. The closet tho was very hot with no air moving around.
First we had some tornados come visit our immediate area. That's what took out the power. Then Irma hit our little town at 12:54 am. None of us were happy with the noise she was making. It was really creepy and even Daddy was quite nervous. Mommy hung on to our crate for dear life. Daddy hung on to Mommy. Jesus held us all.
It was an experience one does not forget!
Irma stayed well until morning light. When we went out early morning to potty, We were hooked to harnesses and leashes. The winds were 75mph and we were not going to use any pee-pads either!
We lost lot's of branches, plants and trees. We had our 5 back living room windows all pouring in water which went down the walls and onto the carpet. Lost 4 window screens. Kitchen window frame shifted and now have a 1/2" gap to the outside. Driveway lights broke and damaged from debris flying around. Front door frame shifted and gap also to the outside. Had to toss all our food in both refrigerators out. And...that's just some of the damage!
But we survived and compared to many, we are in good shape. We are BLESSED. Our hearts break for everyone who suffered.
We were able to find a place 2 days after the storm that had power and we rented it and moved there for now. We tried to stay in our house but being Florida and still hot here, we were all getting sick from the 91 degree temp inside the house.
Our entire sleeply little town was deserted. No one had power. Nothing open around here at all. No gas, no water, no stores..... Thank goodness for FEMA setting up a emergency distribution station here. We were able to get bottled water from them along with some food.
Our house finally got power back on after 6 days. Some parts of our community are still without. Trust me when I say, the Linemen from all over are working really hard. God bless them all!
Mommy immediately filed a claim with our insurance company. On Saturday Rusty came out to dry out the carpet and walls. He peeled back the wet & stinky carpet, cut holes in our walls and put in 2 really loud fans.
The insurance adjustor came today and went through all the damages with Mommy. He said, now it's just a waiting game. He had no idea how long it would be before we hear back from them.
We're all crabby and tired. Plus they started up the work on the kitchen again. Mommy is pulling her hair out and will be bald shortly.
About the only thing Mommy can find around here is our dog food and treats. Life is good!