Friday, March 6, 2015

What I'd Like - Written by Mommy

I want a room with a view!

A beautiful view that shows green grass, sunshine & white fluffy clouds just like below. I want a bird feeder outside my window and to hear the birds sing their beautiful songs. And if you were really my friend, please remember my smokes. (These day's, I can't live without them.) And please make sure it's pet friendly so that Lily & Muffin can stay with me.





Life has gotten tough once again here at our house. I just know that possibly, any minute now, the men in the white coat's are going to be ringing my musical door bell. I should change the tune on it to something large and in charge so I know it's them. I think I'm ready to be taken away.


My dear sweet hubby Rolf will be having surgery Monday morning. We saw the Surgeon yesterday and the hernia has to be fixed. Unfortunately because the hernia is quite large and rearing its ugly head, it will require the "BIG CUT." It also has to do with his insides not being completely healed from September they can't risk it with the "small cuts." They are going to go in through his newest scar from the kidney surgery. Six weeks minimum recovery.


Rolf is so upset over this whole thing. Just when the weather was starting to get nice here, all his plans are going down the drain. Planting the little seedlings in the garden, going to the Strawberry Festival, baseball games and things like going to Disney. I think he's more upset because he is very helpful with my Dad and does lot's of things with him. He's worried that since he won't be able to help right now, I'll go crazy.





Florida is a great place to recuperate I keep telling him. Lot's of sunshine to help him heal, NO snow, NO cold, we can all sit outside and enjoy the garden and the birds. Our house here is one floor, NO stairs to climb. Friends can pop over on their golf carts to visit him. He has lot's of friends here! We are trying really hard to break through his worry.


He's going to be just fine, I'm sure of that. But I know how heavy this is weighing him down. Being so sick in September really put life into perspective.


We are also extremely upset about our baby Lily Belle. We received a call 2 nights ago from our Vet. They have been running all kinds of tests on her urine. Lily has been diagnosed with Kidney Disease. We heard that and our hearts broke! Not our baby, not our girl, not our little love bug, not this little girl who fills our hearts with love........


 Unfortunately it is something we have to deal with and it's killing all of us. From what we were told, normal urine tests at around .2 (that's point 2). Lily is a 4. NOT a point 4, but a 4. She's been that way since last year and they have been keeping an eye on her. It's now to the point that something has to be done. She started her first dose of Benazepril last night. She will take it for 30 days and then be retested. The Vet mentioned a liver biopsy. We cried.


I'm trying to remain positive throughout it all. I admit, it's hard! I've always been the strong one. I have always been the one to carry the burden in life, so my family didn't have to. I've always said "don't panic until I tell you to panic. When I tell you to panic then it's time to worry." As I get older, it's not that easy any more. Most days are hard enough with G-Pa Bob. His heart failure, his daily seizures, his falling down, having to constantly sit and watch him so he doesn't get hurt or wander off.


I find myself struggling more and more every day to hold together this thing called "life." Hard to have that carefree attitude that would kick in and say "oh well!" Hard to say "I'll just deal with it as it happens." Those days are over with.


Life is HERE. Life is NOW. I just need to somehow find my new inner strength to deal with it all before the men ring my door bell.


If they get here first, please remember I want a room with a view!


Hugs,
Kim

25 comments:

  1. Kim I am just crying over this post. I think everyone of us here at blogville will say the same thing, we love you all and when you are hurting and in trouble we are the same. Remember we will be your strong, when you need to break, and if its a room with a view, then we will make that happen....(those fake picture apps are wonderful things for pretending we are somewhere else wonderful when we actually feel like we are standing on the edge). Never feel like you are in this battle alone Kim, whether you see us in person, we are sitting right beside you in spirit. We are your family whether far or close. We will help you in whatever way we can, and sometimes its the small ways that save the heart of the person who feels broken. Please keep on blogging to us, cos I know from experience when I feel like I cannot get up anymore my blogville family drags my butt out of bed.
    We are praying for Lily, your husband and of course granddad...but we are sending those special quiet prayers just for you.
    Hugs from all of us to you......Deb and family

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  2. Aw Mum, My eyes were full of tears when I got to the bottom of this post. Sending you loads of luffs and hugs, wish we could be more practical but we'll be here whenever you want to let off steam, need a shoulder, need a hug whatever!
    Take very good care of yourself and know there is a whole community of peeps and furfriends out there thinking of you and offering support
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  3. Oh Kim....Deb and Julie both just said it so well. I feel exactly the same as they do, and yes, my tears are flowing too. In addition to everything in the above comments, I would like to remind you of something that I'm hearing a lot about my own life. God will never give you more than you can handle so God must know that you are a very strong and determined woman. And don't expect those guys in white coats to be ringing your doorbell anytime soon. I'm sending lots of prayers and a whole cart load of hugs right to your doorstep. And when everything settles down again.....Forget the coffee break...we both need a good stiff drink (and I don't even drink...)

    Lots of Love,
    Linda

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  4. Sweetheart we have leaky eyes too reading that. You have been through so much and now all this. Our hearts go out to you. I sincerely wish there was something we could do to make things better. You and all the family are in our thoughts and prayers and if there is ANYTHING we can do just shout out.
    Best wishes Molly

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  5. Oh dear. I hope you are okay. Yes, we know we aren't good at names, but we understand when a heart feels it needs a little boost. I honestly don't know what to say. I can always tell you to be strong and to hang on, but it's something I already know. I want something that will come from the heart, and I will says this with my utmost and sincerest intention. Gambatte kudasai which means "Keep your chin up" and O-daijini, which means "Take Care" and "Get well soon!" Lily and Rolf!

    P.S. I just started learning Japanese last week, so my vocabulary is still limited. Hugs... Sending San-jyuu-roku (36) paws your way.

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  6. Dearest Furend,
    We are so very VERY sorry to hear that all this has piled up at once. We will say DITTO to what everyone else has commented here... We are with you every step of the way... We are sending our heartfelt LOVE and Support... and MUCH POTP fur Mr. Rolf and fur Lily Belle... You are not alone... Blogville will wrap you in our arms.

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  7. Dear Kim...I have just put up a POTP post linking to your post.

    Dear Daddy Rolf
    We are sending you lots of kitty purrs and Mom hugs for a successful surgery and quick recovery. My grandpa had lots of tummy surgery so we know all about that.

    Lilly Belle, it is I, Madi, sending you senior girl purrs and love...you are such a brave Doxie
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  8. I just read the post at POTP... I cross my paws for you Lilly Belle and for your daddy, as hard as I can. I send a big bag of POTP to you for the surgery on monday....
    hugs to you
    easy rider

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  9. So very sorry to hear about Lily and of course your hubby's surgery. Losing a furbaby is never easy, even when we know it is time to let them run free. As for surgery, I had a major surgery three weeks ago and just now starting to feel bit better-but figure I've got another 3 weeks to go. I'm hoping warm weather, birds singing and flowers blooming will brighten your day and weekend.

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  10. So sorry to hear your husband and Lily are not well. It must be awful for you as well as for them.
    Sending all our love and hoping they will be well soon.
    Dip and Elliot x

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  11. Sometimes it seems like everything weighs down at once and it sounds like this is one of those times. But the good thing is that whether things are good or bad, "this too shall pass" applies to it all. And that is a relief when we're waiting for the bad things to pass. Sometimes it's hard to be the "strong person" in a family. Sometimes you have to allow yourself the luxury of a little bit of falling apart before you have to put on your big girl panties, dust off your knees, and just keep on keeping on. Sometimes it helps to turn things around and see that although hubby will have a life-disrupting surgery, he will be okay and that is the most important part. With G-pa Bob it's gonna be a tough one cuz it sounds like that job isn't going to change too much. It's hard enough getting older ourselves but to have to see it happen to those we love is oftentimes even worse! Our hearts go out to you since it sounds like you're getting hit from all directions. So go ahead and take a little time and go a little crazy, and then carry on taking care of business. POTP to you all!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  12. Murphy and Stanley have such a great way with words....we second them and are sending lots of POTP !
    Hugs!
    Beth, Dory and the Boyz

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  13. We have no words, just hugs and prayers. You have to endure so much, too much. We hold you in our paws and Mom's too and hope so much that life turns around soon. Hang in there and all the very best from each of us.

    Hugs and Woos - Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning and Mom

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  14. Oh Kim...my heart goes out to you. You are in my prayers each and every day...for you, Grandpa Bob, your husband, and for Lily. It is a LOT ... Too much ... May you find the strength to handle it all. Blessings you you, my friend. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

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  15. We are going to pile on with everything that has already been said. Sometimes you do just have to have a "moment" or two or more. And then you can carry on
    Sending lots of prayers and POTP and love
    hugs
    Mr bailey, Hazel, Mabel & Mom

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  16. Crikey ...... it's ALL been said and said so beautifully. A big ditto from Mum and me and please know that we, too, are thinking of you, and sending lots of prayers and POTP.
    Hugs ......... Charlie and Mum, Lynn.

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  17. We have our paws crossed tight for all of you.

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  18. That's a lot for any folks to deal with at one time. If you don't mind we'd like to send you a big warm virtual hug.

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  19. You have so very much weighing on your shoulders these days. I wish for Daddy Rolf's surgery to go smoothly and for his recovery to be quicker than he can imagine. And I hope that Grandpa Bob does as well as possible during the stress of Rolf's recovery. And, Lily... I hope that the new medicine helps and that no liver biopsies are needed. We are sending very very strong POTP. Lots of hugs to all of you.

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  20. My dearest Lily Belle,
    I am so sorry to hear you are having major peepee issues. I am so thankful that despite all your mom has going on with G-Pa Boband your dad, that she is able to get you the treatment you need. Lady and I are heartbroken at all you and Mama Kim have to deal with. We are praying for you right now. Can you tell?
    Much Love,
    Your Marley
    Mama Kim, we totally agree with Murphy and Stanley's message. When you have that room with a view, you can see that the sun will come up tomorrow. Lam. 3:22-23 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to and end; they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness." I've been to house church and Bible studies a lot, so I know this stuff. Keep looking up, Mama Kim, and let those around you help you.
    Love,
    Marley

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  21. Oh sweet Lily I am so sorry that your kidney's are not working. You and your Dad have that in common. You and your family are always on my mind and in my prayers. My special prayer for you sweet girl is that you get the treatment you need. I will come and stay with you while your Dad is having his surgery. Just remember by summer you and Dad can enjoy time at the beach and pool. Love you sweet Lily

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  22. Kim we have come over from the POTP to give our love and hugs to you..seems you have a full card of unfair at the moment...we are sorry your hubby and sweet Lily Belle are unwell and send all our hugs to you. Fozziemum xxx

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  23. Oh, Kim, Kim, Kim!

    I'm just crying. I don't know what to say. I am so very, very sorry about all of these challenges. SO NOT FAIR. WE LOVE YOU.

    POTP to all creatures, humans, doxies, big, and small. This is all too much. This has all been too much.

    We are sending you all love.

    Renee & Tootsie

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  24. Oh, Lily....we are so saddened to read of your sorrows. Pls. know that we are keeping you in our thoughts & prayers....Oskar too...lives with kidney disease...he takes medication daily. And we are crossing our paws the surgery goes well too! Sometimes this old world throws more at us than it seems we can handle....

    (((Hugs)) your friends

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  25. My heart goes out to you. If I could reach through this computer and hug you I would!! I feel your pain and I will be praying for all of you. I know how hard it is to stay strong and be the strong one. It sucks sometimes, but there is no choice sometimes. I will keep my eye out for that room with a view for you. I will come and visit you and we can share little cakes and tea and talk about happy times. I am with you in spirit. God bless all of you and keep you strong.

    Anne

    Lily. I am crossing paws for you and I know you will be ok. Just please take your medicine and get well.

    Loveys Sasha

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